Uncovering your Protector Parts

Internal Family Systems talks about a false true self.  This is a self that might trick you and others into believing it is your true self. 

This is born in homes where love was conditional.  As a result protector parts are created out of fear of punishment, and being ostracized.  This could show up in automatic passive aggressive behaviors because one learned to ask for what one thought they wanted or needed, without directly asking for it.  These are survival mechanisms based in fear.  This fear was real as a child, but it is not as real in the present.  Another protector part looks around for similar present “danger” and convinces you of urgency to reach, through the fire fighter.

Firefighter parts create self sabotage, sabotage of relationships, and quick numbing.

  These protector parts developed at a very young age, and had to hide your needs and feelings.  This usually occurs when the parents are operating from their generational trauma, and are not capable to parent their own inner child.  As a result their wounds show up in the form of anxiety, impatience, anger or self blame.  When the fragile child is in fear for instance, and is met by anxiety from the parent, instead of being co-regulated by the parent, the child learns to hide this fear. 

This pattern results in patterns of pain and loss.  Right there you find yourself at a fork in the road, you can see yourself as a victim of circumstances and people, or you can look inside, and own your part.  The second journey is much more interesting and fulfilling.  It will help you discover your own internal world, with the help of a gentle therapist holding a safe container.